You Know You’re An Asshole When You Go to the Movie Theater If….(Part 1)

1. You go to the movie theater and complain to the Box Office Cashier as if the prices had outrageously changed by massive amounts of money since you were last there, (this is void if you haven’t seen a movie in years, haven’t talked to anyone who has seen a movie, or avoid the internet or other forms of information that talk about the cost of movie tickets).

Your Dbag meter goes up if you blame the cashier for the price change as if he or she personally changed it, just to ruin your day. You cross over from the land of into Violent and Crazy if you threaten the cashier because movie prices are higher than you like.

If you haggle, you are just an immature child.

2. You check movie times online, on a site different from the actual Theater, and have an absolute shit fit when you get there and the times are different. If you demand compensation, ask the cashier to change the time, yell at him or her for it being different, and accuse them of changing the times just to piss you off, you have anger issues and should seek therapy.

This one has a second part:

You look at movie time for a different theater than the one you are going to. When you throw your fit and the cashier suggests maybe you looked at the wrong theater/times/website you realize your mistake, but you don’t want to look like an idiot in front of people after you just threw a temper tantrum so you turn red, talk down to the cashier for accusing you of being wrong, then stand off to the side discussing with your friend or partner while glaring at the worker.

Me not wrong! Internet Wrong! Idiot!

3. For whatever reason, if you step out of line to discuss this travesty of expensive tickets, wrong movie times or some other confliction, you lose your spot. It is common line rules that everyone knows but don’t always follow. If you try to push others out of the way to get back at the window without waiting in line again you are an asshole.

4. You come to a movie late, and ask for it to be restarted.

5. You come to a movie late, and seriously ask if you can stay when it starts again to catch the first part you missed.

6. You come to a movie 1 hour late, there is only a half hour left. With your kids begging you to see it you purchase the tickets despite the cashier asking you multiple times if you are sure because there is only a half hour left of the movie.

  • When the movie ends in a half hour you come out of the theater on a rampage, speed walking up to the Box Office to scream at the cashier.
  • When the cashier tries to explain that he or she told you it was an hour in, you accuse him or her of changing the clock once you went into the theater, because according to your twisted perception, when you came in the clock was a different time and the movie had just started
  • You demand a refund. When you are denied you threaten to take the cashier out back and beat them to death while your children watch.
  • You then march up to the manager when the worker reports you to security, and tell them to fire you for being cruel, bitchy, and stupid.

7. You go into the theater with the mentality of “I can be as bitchy or messy as I want to be because these people are paid to be nice to me and clean up after me.” You then proceed to be the nastiness person possible.

For example: mountains of fallen popcorn, (if you have young children this is understandable), used diapers, used colostomy bags, sunflower seed shells, ect.

8. You assume minimum wage is an excellent pay rate,

“You get paid minimum wage to clean this, so clean it well!”

9. You look down on the workers, they are serving you, those peasants.

10. When a worker is cleaning up you throw more stuff on the ground and laugh as they sweep it up.

One thought on “You Know You’re An Asshole When You Go to the Movie Theater If….(Part 1)

  1. This is amazing. I agree with it completely. You know even the Movie theaters themselves can’t control the price of movie tickets for the most part. They are facing extinction with all of the substitutes. They are doing their best to turn a profit. Show some respect for the business that you have chosen to go to and limit the amount of service that others have to do for you.

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