You Know You’re an Asshole When You Go to the Movie Theater If…(Part 2)

11. You go and sit in the theater while the worker is cleaning or before the worker gets there. You refuse to move when they come in, despite sitting in a row that is absolutely disgusting. You mock them while they clean, and then complain when your row hasn’t been cleaned.

12. You have your cell phone out during the entire movie, texting, talking, playing games.

Why in the hell did you buy a movie ticket if you were just going to be on your phone?

13. You hover over the toilet seat so your butt doesn’t touch the plastic, and get pee and crap everywhere just because you didn’t want to get “germs” from other people’s asses.

14. You smear poop onto the walls.

Seriously people do this.

15. If you ever threaten to harm, kill or destroy a worker.

Reasons people do this: prices, arriving late to a movie, different movie times that what they saw, long lines, workers taking longer than a few minutes to help them, movies starting late because of projection issues, and theaters not being sparkling clean. Just about anything can send people into verbal murderous rages.

Possible Killer

16. You get angry at concession workers because

  1. The theater you are at makes you butter your popcorn yourself.
  2. they don’t completely drown your popcorn in butter.
  3. The larges aren’t large enough.

18. Despite having been told where your theater is, what number and which way to go, you have simultaneously forgotten how to listen, read, and know the difference between left and right.

19. You ask for tickets such as, “Yeah can I have four tickets,” and minutes later come back very very angry that you got four adult tickets when two of the people in your party were 12 or under. The cashier is not a mind reader. Nor should they have guess how old your child is. If your child looks over  12 and you do not specify, you will get an adult ticket.

20. The computer on the register freezes up, and/or the printer stops working and despite the cashier apologizing, and getting fixed in five minutes or less, you react by calling them an idiot and saying you will never come again.

Leave a Reply