So I was in the bank today, and I was in line next to older woman. The teller was a 20 something female and as my transaction is commencing I hear this conversation…
Old Lady: I need to make sure I have enough money for my car payment, but you don’t know what that is like do you?
Teller: Yeah, I have had a car for quite awhile.
Now my transaction is almost over and the woman addresses me…
Old Lady: Would you like some coffee?
Now keep in mind I can only see a purse in her hand, a really small one.
Me: No thanks I don’t like coffee. (I really don’t)
Old Lady: Would you like some candy?
Now I am going to stop here and explain what I know at this moment and what my mind does with this information.
1) She has some sort of vehicle.
2) She clearly has a magical purse to be able to pull a flask of coffee out of it.
3) She seems very friendly.
So with my knowledge of everyone is an evil bastard.
I assume she is up to no good. I assume she is going to pull a creepy van out of her purse and try to coax me into it. So the only logical thing I can do is fucking bolt!
Luckily my transaction was over and I told her “I had enough sugar today” and I ran/walked out.
Now clearly to a normal person she was just a polite older woman looking to be kind. I saw a evil crypt keeper trying to temp me with her magic powers and devil sugar. No thank you.