Harry Potter: Life Lessons

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In honor of the end of Harry Potter, and subsequently the end of my childhood, I present life lessons learned from my 13 year relationship with HP books and movies. Spoilers ahead for those who’ve not finished the movies and/or books   Number 1: Your abusive guardian(s) may serve some purpose after all besides making […]

You Know You’re an Asshole Doctor if…

I find your disillusionment with your job affecting my diagnosis here.

A patient comes to you explaining that they have trouble losing weight despite good diet and exercise. You look at them and say something to the effect of, “Yeah right, workout more.Yes the vast majority of people who complain of this are eating poorly and probably not taking the best care of themselves. They may […]

D-Bag Bill Collectors


Being an adult sucks sometimes. I mean, I never want to have to go back to being a teenager with limited freedoms and raging hormones.  But back then when the bill collectors called my mom handled them because she was the adult in charge. Even through college when I was still under her health insurance, […]

You Know You’re an Asshole When You Go to the Fast Food Place If…


You are extremely and morbidly and at deaths door obese and your young child is also on the way and you take them to get fast food. This is even douchey-er if: You yell at them to finish all their food. You ask if they want another meal once they are done. You order an […]

Things I Learned From Texas Chainsaw Massacre


WARNING: Under no circumstances should a child read this post or watch the YouTube Clips that Are Posted. If Horror Movies Are Not Your Thing, DO NOT READ. I grew up watching horror movies far out of my age range. At 3 when my mother was preoccupied by a telephone call, I managed to watch […]

You Know You’re and Asshole When You Go to a Concert If…


You pick people out in line to mock. Be it for their clothing, weight, hairstyle or that they are wearing the shirt of a band you dislike. You then, not only make fun of them to your friends, but out loud to the person themselves. The insults are never very educated or creative.    They are […]

Pageant Parent Syndrome


If you feel like you’ve failed as a parent recently because you didn’t react correctly to something or you haven’t spent as much time with them as you’d like, or you feel guilty for something or another, just watch this video about a pageant mom who injects her eight year old daughter with botox. Video from […]

You Know You’re an Asshole When You Go to a Restaurant If…


  1. The hostess/host is away from her post when you walk in, and being impatient, you seat yourself in any section that pleases you. 2. The hostess/host seats you and you dislike where you are sitting, (because it’s not a booth or not positioned the way another table is, etcetera), so instead of politely […]

You Know You’re An Asshole When You Go to the Movie Theater If…(Part 3)


21. You throw or slam your money or card at the cashier. 22. You don’t flush after using the bathroom. 23. You splatter water all over the bathroom by shaking your hands dry instead of using paper towels or the hand dryer. 24. You leave your small children with a worker while you leave the […]

Post it Note Stay at Home Dad


I always love seeing articles about stay at home dads. I think more men should take this on. It seems to make them more creative and balance the karmic scale of things. This is a great example of an offbeat, creative, and humorous father. I think when you have kids you have to hold onto your sense […]