You Know You’re an Asshole Doctor if…

    • A patient comes to you explaining that they have trouble losing weight despite good diet and exercise. You look at them and say something to the effect of, “Yeah right, workout more.Yes the vast majority of people who complain of this are eating poorly and probably not taking the best care of themselves. They may be looking for an easy way out, maybe some medication that will make them thinner or say this as an excuse when their doctors get onto them. But sometimes there is a legitimate issue behind this and other symptoms, that when ignored lead to worse problems and prolonged issues that make the person fatter and more unhealthy.
I find your disillusionment with your job affecting my diagnosis here.
    • A young person comes in with any issue such as fatigue, soreness, or hell, even heart issues and you write them off, “You’re young, you’re fine.”
    • Someone comes in with a complex issue that require lots of testing, when the cause isn’t found quickly, you decide they are a hypochondriac and no longer worth your time.
The only time a Doctor should give a sane person this look is if he's a 900 year old Time-Lord
    • You misdiagnose someone countless times. When they see a specialist and come back with a diagnoses like “Fibromyglia” or “CFS” you tell them that you never suggested that could be a possibility because you don’t believe it is a real disease/syndrome.
    • You decide to give a patient a medication they should be taking without properly explaining the side effects it may have when they ask. For example: I had a doctor tell me my migraines were caused by my birth control and suggested we immeaditly inject the Depo shot. When I asked her what the side effects were, she told me there were none and it was the best birth control out there and I would feel better right away. Here are the side effects. I suffered a good majority of them including weight gain. I’m not saying this is bad birth control, it is probably awesome for some women, but since I am chemically sensitive it would have been nice to know.
    • When there can be no cause found in blood test results for what your patient is experiencing you refer them to a psychologist and tell them it’s in their head.
    • You disregard Chiropractors as medical professionals. Good Chiropractors are amazing.
I don't care if they are Aliens bent on taking over the world. They=Awesome
    • You have no empathy. This is only okay if you a really good at your job and actually try and find out what is wrong with the person. An example, albeit fictional is Dr. Gregory House, who is often without empathy, but f-ing rocks at his job. I understand that as Doctor you often have to become detached, but there is a difference between detachment and cruelty.
He may be an ass, but he gets the job done.

I have nothing but the utmost respect for doctors. At one point I wanted to go to medical school and still hold a fascination for anything medical. I understand that there are hard decisions they have to make and everyone makes mistakes. I also understand that there are many people out there who try and shenanigans medication out of doctors. I’m sure that for some of the mistakes doctors make with illegitimate patients are direct results of asshole patients, (perhaps I will do a follow up from that side). However, I think like in any professions, some doctors are just jerks. They were jerks before they became doctors and continued being jerks after.

One thought on “You Know You’re an Asshole Doctor if…

  1. you use the word illegitimate when you mean legitamate. It reverses the meaning of the sentence

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