Just because a movie comes highly recommended and generates a lot of buzz doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck. Here are 10 movies that are supposedly excellent, but in actuality are awful.
1. Citizen Kane– It may be unfair to judge a movie this old and iconic based on modern standards, but if the AFI is going to continue to rank it #1, I’m going to have to continue to disagree. It was directed by Orson Welles in 1941, and while I have no problems with old movies in general, this one is seriously overrated. The acting is over the top, the plot is overdrawn and boring, and the ending is just plain stupid. I’m not sure what makes critics continue to vote it to the top, aside from maybe peer pressure, because it in no way is the greatest movie of all time (which is, of course, Weekend at Bernies II)
2. Avatar– I’m not sure what I can say about James Cameron’s movie that hasn’t already been said, but good lord this movie was awful. I’m not saying it wasn’t beautiful, because of course it was. It was visually breathtaking, and it’s the only movie I’ve seen that I actually thought seeing it in 3D helped the viewing experience. That’s where it ends, though. It’s Pocahontas with blue people. I don’t mean it borrows from the archetype, I mean it copies it directly.
The plot is unoriginal, and the storytelling is rudimentary at best. Movies are, afterall, a medium for storytelling. Just because a movie is pretty to look at doesn’t mean we should excuse the fact that everything else about it sucks.
3.The English Patient– This is a pretentious, overly ambitious piece of crap disguised as an epic love story. It is one of those movies that the critics adored, but I couldn’t stand. It’s boring as hell, there’s no chemistry between the two otherwise talented leads, and it is far too long and slowly paced. Because the cinematography was beautiful and the plot was historical, it was obvious Oscar-bait, but that doesn’t make it a good movie. It is, at best, a decent movie in need of a good editor.
4.Titanic– Admittedly, I liked this movie a lot at the time. I was 13 when it came out and an epic romance with Leonardo DiCaprio was right up my alley. The opinion of a thirteen year old girl is unreliable at best, and I was particularly stupid then. It’s still a decent movie, but as an adult, I can see this movie for what it really is. The characters are flat and archetypal, the dialogue is cringe-worthy, and yet again Cameron focuses too much on the visuals of the movie rather than the plot of it. Rose is one of the worst characters I’ve ever seen in a movie. In addition to being too selfish to share her piece of wood with Jack in the water, and stupidly throwing her giant diamond in the ocean, let’s not forget that while she was having her big romance with Jack, she was cheating on her fiancé. She’s the worst.
5. My Big Fat Greek Wedding– This isn’t an awful movie, but compared to all the hype surrounding it at the time, it was a major letdown. It plays out more like a sitcom than a movie; chock full of stereotypes and lacking real conflict. I have no problem with light, fluffy comedies, but that really only works when it’s actually funny. This one is not only not funny, it’s bland and unimaginative. I don’t understand how it became the hit that it did.
6. Signs– It’s easy to pick on M. Night Shyamalan’s movies, because there are so many problems with them. I actually think Signs is one of his better works, right behind the Sixth Sense. That doesn’t mean it’s a good movie, however. The gaping plot holes cancel out all the good this movie has. I’m not generally one to nitpick at the logic of a movie, but the holes in this one are inescapable. It just doesn’t make sense. Why would an intelligent race invade a planet that is 75% covered in water if water is deadly to them? Even if they could avoid oceans and lakes and such, what if it rains? Water is unavoidable. Stupid.
7. Gangs of New York– This is another epic, dramatic period piece critical darling that I couldn’t stand. The casting of Cameron Diaz is the movie’s biggest flaw, but certainly not the only casting problem. Leonardo DiCaprio is great as an intellectual, sensitive character, but he doesn’t nail it as a strong, brutal one like this character. Daniel Day-Lewis is over the top with his theatricality, making it hard to watch. It’s another movie that’s pretty to look at, but is lacking the depth needed to make a movie like this great. There’s not enough substance in the plot to endure the three hour run time. It could have been great with a better editing, casting, directing, and writing.
8. The Blair Witch Project– This is definitely a victim of hype, but by the time I got around to watching this I had already heard about it from approximately 5,243 people. It was supposed to be SO SCARY but in actuality it was kind of boring. The whole movie is the “crew” walking around endlessly while cursing at each other with no pay off at the end. I’m not saying movies need to have a huge CGI budget with startling monsters to be scary, but there needs to be something, anything, to hold on to. There’s nothing. I’m actually impressed those filmmakers tricked us all into seeing this crap pile.
9. The Star Wars Franchise- There’s no denying that the franchise has had a great influence on society, from opening people’s eyes to Sci-Fi to changing the way movies market themselves. I’m sure in the 70s this was a really great movie, full of groundbreaking effects and epic adventure. However, by today’s modern standards, these movies blow. For one, the plot basics just keep repeating themselves: A huge monster almost eats our hero’s ship, a young pilot blows up a space station, and people fall down bottomless shafts. Throughout each film the dialogue is wooden and much of the time just silly. George Lucas is an awful writer and director. Plus, they’re kind of boring. I think people cling to this because they liked it as children, but kids are generally dumb and so are their movie choices. And that’s just the originals, the newest trilogy is a crap pile of it’s own kind that’s an even further embarrassment to the franchise and it’s fans (Hello, Jar Jar.)
10. Moulin Rouge– I know everyone loves this movie but I’m here to tell you why you’re wrong. The basics: the story is weak and cliched, most of the actors can’t actually sing (::cough::Ewan::cough::), and while it is mostly beautiful to look at, it’s over the top with the artsy fartsy visual treatment. It’s a quintessential example of style over substance, but that makes it seem more like an overlong music video rather than a motion picture. The main reason this movie sucks is because all movies that give away the ending at the beginning suck. They just do. It’s a weak way for the director to grab the viewer rather than come up with a gripping beginning. It’s lazy, and it sets the movie on a negative spiral from the beginning.