You Know You’re and Asshole When You Go to a Concert If…

  1. You pick people out in line to mock. Be it for their clothing, weight, hairstyle or that they are wearing the shirt of a band you dislike. You then, not only make fun of them to your friends, but out loud to the person themselves. The insults are never very educated or creative.    They are usually perpetrated by grown men, white guys, many with confederate flag tattoos or shirts with overbearing beer bellies and the stank of hoosier covering their bodies.
  2. You get very drunk, go over your limit on an incredibly hot day, and puke on someone. I know  that sometimes it is unavoidable to get sick all over someone in a crowd. But if you know you are going to a place that is going to be very hot, do not drink too much out of courtesy of everyone around you.

    Alcohol +extreme heat=projectile vomiting.
  3. You violently throw bottles at people in the crowd. It doesn’t matter if they are plastic, when whiplashed, they still leave welts.
  4. You crowd surf too much in a small space completely packed with people and kick people in the head.  One time while enjoying one of my favorite bands at an outdoor festival people were crowd surfing 20 at a time in a very packed, small space. So many people got injured that they were bleeding and three ambulances had to rush people to the hospital. If you are going to crowd surf know how to do it right, and try to injure the innocents standing under you.
  5. You cheer and scream and woo and talk the whole time a song is going on so that others cannot even hear the musician or band playing.
  6. You spend the whole time watching the concert through your phone or camera, while you record it.
  7. If you are a skin head at a metal show. Metal has no place for you. It doesn’t make you more Metal to be racist.

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