You Know You’re an Asshole When You Go to the Fast Food Place If…

  1. You are extremely and morbidly and at deaths door obese and your young child is also on the way and you take them to get fast food. This is even douchey-er if:
  • You yell at them to finish all their food.
  • You ask if they want another meal once they are done.
  • You order an adult meal for them.
  • You order an extra large adult meal for them.

2. You scream into the drive through intercom when asked for your order.

3. You whisper into the drive through intercom.

4. You have your music on while giving your drive-through order. IF your music is on, and especially if it is on loud it will hurt the ears of whoever is wearing the headset inside.

5. You order 100 tacos in the drive through at Jack in the Box or Taco Bell. NOT COOL.

6. You think you are ordering something healthy because it is grilled. No. Wait. That is just dumb. Nearly, if not everything is bad at fast food places, even the salad is packed with sugar. When I worked in a fast food place they grilled things in the same left over grease as the burgers. Sure, grilled is better, but that doesn’t mean the grilled sandwich is healthy.

7. Children. With their dirty hands, and ketchup smeared faces, and greasey little fingers. They lack hygiene and any care for other people whatsoever. Think about when they climb through those playground tunnels, pee in them, put their gross unwashed hands on the plastic, poop their pants filling the tunnels with dung bombs as they go. Parents can try as hard as they want. They can make their kids wash their face and hands and use sanitizer but those little monsters will still find ways to be gross and possibly adorable at the same time.

Everything that ever happens inside a playplace is weird and also gross.


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